Now that the new year is here, everyone is likely excited about setting their resolutions. It's funny, I was just chatting with someone about how the gyms become packed for the first two weeks, and then it's back to business as usual. It's like this cycle of big, ambitious goals that last a week or maybe two, and then poof, they vanish.
I couldn't help but notice this pattern while creating my own 'new year's resolutions' or goals for the upcoming year. As I worked on my budget and contemplated the areas of my life I wished to change or enhance, I found myself reflecting on the familiar routine of setting goals, following them for a while, and then watching them fade away, much like everyone else. Determined to break the cycle, I sought a different approach this time. The past year has already been a journey of growth, and I was eager to continue the momentum. My goals are specific, yet flexible and they present a challenge while remaining realistic. I've learned that if a goal is too far from attainable, I'm less likely to pursue it. So, this year, I decided to mix things up a bit. I structured my goals by establishing one overarching objective for each category in my life and then outlined the steps to achieve it. Take working out, for instance—it's a broad goal, but my aim is to feel confident in my body and incorporate movement into each day. While it might sound simple, I've learned from reflections on the past year that it's not always easy to complete an actual 'workout'. I've realized that movement doesn't necessarily mean a rigorous three-hour workout; it could be as simple as a long walk or participating in a workout class. To make it more concrete, I've set a specific goal, of attending a workout class twice a week. This specific target serves as a guide, ensuring I work towards my broader goal of feeling confident and finding joy in movement. Unlike a rigid goal of working out twice a week, which might not necessarily bring joy, my approach centers on how I want to feel. The flexibility allows for success, yet the specificity adds a layer of accountability that makes it harder to say no. I recently listened to a fantastic book (highly recommend!) called 'Year of Yes' by Shonda Rhimes—yes, the writer behind Grey's Anatomy. It was the perfect way to wrap up the year. Rhimes shares her journey of transitioning from a perpetual 'no-sayer' to embracing a 'Year of Yes,' a philosophy she carries into her ongoing life. One big takeaway for me, as I step into the new year, is the concept of what we say 'yes' to. Take the workout scenario, for example. You can say 'yes' to lounging on the couch, feeling uncomfortable, and missing out on the joys of life. Alternatively, you can say 'yes' to finding movement, improving yourself, and fueling your body to do what you love. The idea that saying 'yes' to a sedentary lifestyle is essentially deciding to sit until you die really stood out to me. Why choose that when you can say 'yes' to just 20 minutes of movement and nourishing your body to keep going? The book shares various empowering topics, and it has motivated me to start my own 'Year of Yes' journey. I even got the journal to document my experiences. I'll keep you posted on how that goes! As you step into this new year, 2024, I encourage you not just to contemplate your goals and the necessary actions but also to reflect on who you want to become and how. Consider setting realistic, achievable goals aligned with what genuinely brings you joy. If you've found yourself unable to achieve past New Year's resolutions, perhaps it's time to acknowledge that they might be too challenging. Make it easy for yourself this time--I give you permission. This could be the year where you set simple, attainable goals, providing either the motivation to persist or a reason to celebrate. Given the challenges we've all faced, you owe it to yourself to establish a broad goal that is specific enough to infuse some extra happiness into your life. Here are some of my other goals for 2024 as well and how I expanded them to be specific:
Feel free to share your goals in the comments! It's a great way to hold yourself accountable. At the end of 2024, you can revisit your comments and reflect on how far you've come.
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Now that I have free time, I finally get to read! I remember thinking when I don’t have homework I will be able to read so much more and that time is finally here! I think in just the past 2 months I have read at least seven books. As you know, I love to read books about happiness but I have been branching out to read some other kinds, including more fiction which has been really nice too.
However, I just finished an amazing book and now I wake up every day at 6:15 and haven’t missed a day to workout in a week. Usually I read and I think "oh I’ll do that" and I never do, but this one was so good that I have habits starting to form already while I was reading it. The book is called “hello, habits” and it is written by Fumio Sasaki (Link below). It is really well written and is not a tough read at all. Below are some of my favorite points and how I feel that they fit in with making a happier life. While I wanted to share more, I've narrowed it down to five points. You'll have to read the book for yourself to discover the rest! 1. “The level of happiness is said to decrease when we have more than seven free hours in a day” (according to the Japanese government) I thought this was mind blowing but also so accurate. Many people often believe that quitting their job or stopping certain activities will make them happier (which could be true in some cases). However, it's also possible that the time they do have is not actually used for what brings happiness, and having more of that time will actually have the opposite effect. I definitely noticed this in my large amounts of free time and found myself more tired and not doing things that made me happy. Similarly, on days with no commitments and numerous plans, we might find ourselves staying on the couch instead. Too much free time can unexpectedly have the opposite effect on our motivation and productivity. 2. “It is difficult to start with the mind, but it will eventually catch up when you move” (63). I found this line very motivating. I think all too often we have it in our minds that we are supposed to feel a certain way to start something. For example, I have to want to wake up early. I have to want to go for a run. But it isn’t actually like that. I heard somewhere else too that we have this assumption that athletes have it easy and always want to move, but it isn’t like that at all. They go through the action and then their mind catches up. Even if we don’t initially want to do something, knowing it will make us happy prompts us to take action, and soon enough, the brain catches up. 3. “We honestly won’t be different tomorrow. We always say we’ll do it tomorrow but what is the difference. We have to keep in mind that tomorrow we will do the same thing that we do today.” (136) I have started to keep this one in mind more. It is so true but I have never honestly thought of it like this before. Why do we always say tomorrow? There won’t actually be anything different. It goes back to that second point - we’re waiting for our mind, but we need our body to help us. If we keep waiting on future us thinking it will be better, it won’t actually be better because we didn’t do anything today. 4. Create a coping list - Create a list that you can turn to that will help change your mood even when you aren’t in the mood. It can be walking, looking at nature, or going to the movies (188) I absolutely loved this. There are so many times when I want to do something but I am not in the mood so instead I pull out my phone. The problem with that is my phone does not bring happiness - it actually usually brings an actual headache. I included a picture of my coping list below for some ideas (and also as motivation for me to write one!). It's a powerful way to not just form a habit but also boost happiness, one small step at a time. 5. Make thank you a habit. It changes your mindset and you don’t have to think twice (260). I love this one because it is a habit I already have and didn’t even realize. I wanted to include it here because it really is something that can bring more happiness. You will trick your brain into finding joy by making saying thank you a habit. In the book, he gave an example by saying it to the bus driver, but it can also be the cashier, the cook, the waitress, or someone just holding the door. The simple act can make someone else smile and, in turn, make you smile too. If you want to stop a habit, he gave great advice that it is better to just quit cold turkey. If you give an exception to your rule then it is not a good rule. For example, if someone allows themselves one cup of soda a day, that allowance could gradually increase to simply a bigger cup, technically following the rule but not making progress (89). There are so many more things that I wish I could share with you so I strongly suggest that you read the book (link below and if you want to read more about something I shared, I included the page number in the post). Overall, just remember that habits take time, but once you start one they will all start to fall in place (213). The difficulty that comes with it as suffering is not your enemy, it can actually be your partner and help you grow. Ever since reading the book I have also kept in mind to just start it today because then it will be easier to do whatever it is tomorrow. Small steps are what we need and putting them together will bring happiness. So, habits do create happiness. They lead us away from too much freedom that brings sadness and bring us closer to accomplishing the things we dream of. P.S I signed up for the affiliate marketing program with Amazon, so if you do want to buy this book, if you purchase it through this link you will be supporting Pieces of Happiness! P.S.S. Share what you might put on your coping list in the comments! After talking with my therapist, I've decided to give Pieces of Happiness another go because of how happy it makes me. So, welcome Pieces of Happiness 2.0. It has been well over a year since I last posted and ran across the country. In that time, I not only had no time for pieces of happiness but was really struggling with actually being happy.
I'll share an update on how I got to where I am now since my run! If you're not interested in my personal journey and just want to dive into the 'how to be happy' part of the blog, feel free to just skip this one and wait for the next post! After the run across the country, I was mentally exhausted. My anxiety and depression reached a new level, and joy was hard to come by. My anxiety officially became debilitating, and I had negative flashbacks of my run, which pushed me to get a therapist again. I had an amazing therapist in PA, and as we were starting to make progress, I got the opportunity to pack up my life, drop everything, and move across the country to Colorado. Life was tough where I was at the time, so on Thanksgiving day 2022, I decided that in January I would get in the car and drive to my new home. You might be wondering why or how, and I actually followed my boyfriend for his new job. Lots and lots of factors went into this decision, and after what felt like a weeklong headache (since it was a quick notice), it made the most sense to go with him. When we arrived in Colorado, we hadn't secured an apartment yet, I no longer had my job since I couldn't stay remote, I was still pursuing my studies, and was both mentally and physically exhausted. However, slowly but surely, things began falling into place. While finishing my master’s degree, I worked as a waitress again at a busy restaurant and started working at a gym. It was fun to have a 'no stress' job, although my feet definitely hurt more from being on my feet so much. Then I completed my master’s degree! Now I have an MBA with a focus in Strategic Leadership and a certificate in Data Analytics. That was the biggest relief. I didn’t attend the graduation (long drive!), but I did buy a tassel and hung up my degree! Finally, after what felt like the longest job search, someone reached out to me, and I got offered a job as a Reporting Specialist. So life is slowly starting to feel back on track after a huge detour. After some trial and error with therapists, I found an amazing therapist who has been incredibly helpful. I also began medication. I share this to emphasize that using medication is okay, and honestly, I wish I had started it earlier. I believe it could have significantly changed my perspective during my run across the country. Life is different now; it's more enjoyable and liberating. I love my home and I'm starting to build friendships again. Oh, and I got a dog—her name is Goose, and she's the best! My doctor approved her as my emotional support dog, since I was even experiencing anxiety while running before starting the medication. Since the 4k run, running has been challenging. It stirs up a lot of emotions and flashbacks, and honestly, I haven't enjoyed it. Deep down, though, I know I love it and I want to get back there. After I moved to CO, my best friend, Bree, told me she was signing up for a half marathon. I felt compelled to sign up too, thinking I'd regain my love for running with six months to prepare again. However, I didn't. I lacked the motivation to train. Nevertheless, I flew to Maryland and completed 13.1 miles without walking in the Baltimore Running Festival. Let me tell you, I smiled the entire time. I loved it! (I also surprised myself; despite not running over 4 miles for months, I somehow managed an entire half marathon). It was the push I needed to get back out there, and now I'm signed up for a turkey trot and determined to achieve my goal of running a half marathon in every state. So, I feel better. This past year has been incredibly tough, yet it's also been truly transformative, allowing me time for self-discovery. Now, I live in Colorado (a distant 25 hours from my mom) with a dog, a master’s degree, a full-time remote job, and just an hour away from breathtaking mountain trails. Exactly a year ago, I wouldn't have imagined any of this. But I am happy. This massive, daunting leap to leave everything I knew has turned out to be beneficial, helping me rediscover myself. Hence the return of the blog. My amazing therapist simply said, 'Why not?' and I couldn't find a good enough reason not to. This time around, I might not post every week—I want to avoid putting pressure on myself. However, I'll stick to general themes like book blogs, volunteering experiences, discussions on finding happiness, and more. I also want to include nature blogs, inspired by the beauty of where I live. And, I'm considering bringing back the podcast too! If you’ve been here before, thank you for coming back and being a part of this journey. Your support is why I'm here again today. And if you're new, well, now you know a lot about me! I aim to be real and honest. Understanding happiness often comes from experiencing its opposite. I’m excited to be back, and I hope you're looking forward to reading along! :) Today was the last day of my run across the country and there were only 10 miles between we were staying and the last point! I ran for gram, grampy, Bill, TJ, Bailey, Shelby, Greta, and Sydney. We ran together as a team for all of those miles and it was amazing to finish. We split our run up because we couldn’t get there until 12 but had to be out of our host by 7:30. We stopped at a café for breakfast first and met up with the riders. I got some toast and a smoothie because we still had a way to go. It was 2.5 miles in, so it was a nice way to break up the mileage. The route was so nice because we had a trail to run on and sidewalks for most of it. We stayed at the breakfast spot for a little over an hour and then headed to our next spot. 2.6 miles out, the van was waiting for us with some water and fruit snacks, we stopped there quickly and then headed up this crazy hill! It was so fun and didn’t seem that bad though because there were so many bikers out and they rode by us as we went up. Our team bikers were also next to us as we were going up and that was cool. Someone even yelled out “go 4k” as we ran past and that was really cool to think that they might have been an alumni. Then we had the tricky part where we had to cross under a small tunnel with no shoulder. A park ranger stopped to see what we were doing and then said to just be careful, and we had a car wait and follow us in so we could make it across safely. It was a relief to be on the other side of that tunnel. Then some riders were going up this huge hill to a viewpoint, but Mary and I both were injured (me with shin pain and her with hip) so we stayed down at the bottom near the Golden Gate bridge while the other runners went up. Then it was time for the moment I had been waiting for since 2019, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. It was actually terrifying though, and I couldn’t wait to get off of it because of the rude cyclists. Our cyclists didn’t have a great time crossing the bridge either, so we were all happy to be on the other side. When we were waiting for the rest of the team, someone stopped to ask us what we were doing, and it was cool to share where we came from all the way in San Francisco. Then it was time to do the mile together to the end. Unfortunately, we lost the riders somehow and we ended up still being in our separate ways, but we did come together at one point and that was cool. Someone even shouted at us that we were almost there because he saw our van. I had the directions on my phone, but I put it away too soon because we took a wrong turn and ended up coming in the wrong way to the ceremony! It still worked out and I ran and gave everyone a huge hug. Then we ran back and came in with the bikers together and it was so happy! After that we had our arrival ceremony and we got alumni bracelets and flags! We did our cheer one last time and dipped into the ocean. They shared that I was top fundraiser – all thanks to you guys! The final total being $15,651… wow, thank you! They also gave a backpack to all the directors. I wouldn’t have been able to finish this run without you and your support. To finish the time, I got my bag from the van for the final time and cleaned off the windows. I said goodbye to everyone and then headed to the hotel with my family. I was so happy to be with them. We had some Applebee’s for dinner it was delicious. I had a great shower and enjoyed a bed to sleep in! Today was another 6 mile day, but from twisting my ankle the other day, it got worse so instead I stayed in the van and did some driving so I could get through the 10 miles tomorrow. I dedicated today to Lori and TJ again. We started our day slow again and enjoyed some breakfast from a café. I got some chicken fried steak and tea! It was really good. We also shared superlatives in the morning, and I got most likely to go to sleep first (I just know I can’t run without sleep!) After that we drove to the running spot and they ran their miles. For the second leg, they ran to the host – which is always cool to do. For lunch, we headed to this place called Mix and had salads with the last of our donated venmo money. I got a Caesar salad. Then we headed back to the host to get ready to see Ulman staff and clear the van out completely. I got everything out of the van, except for what was Ulman’s and talked with Jules and Megan (2 Ulman staff members). They took with them one of the rider vans because the following day we only had 2 drivers - they drive the vans for us so we can all participate! For the end of the trip, we did a 4k tradition where people share their confessions. For example, one person wasn’t on the chore list all summer and didn’t say anything until that night! That was funny, but I didn’t have anything crazy to share. We also had paper plate awards that we gave each other and I had Mike. I was pretty proud of my plate and was excited to present it to him. I also loved my plate that Rose made me – it even had Ollie on it :) As soon as that was done I went right to bed! It was so late so as soon as it was over I was ready for bed and excited to do the last day! It was about 10:30 by the time I finally was in bed. Today was a 6 mile day and we made it to Santa Rosa, CA (just a little out of the way to San Francisco). I dedicated today to Lori, the sister of a dear friend, and Mike and Olivia, two connections of the people we met at the kava shop. It was a good mile day and we ran through the vineyards again. It was very pretty. We stopped for breakfast in the morning with the riders and I had a breakfast sandwich and some tea. After the run for the day, the riders were able to get lunch donated and I had a chick-fil-a sandwich. It was so good! I was so full though after eating it. Then, we got our shower stuff ready and started cleaning out the van so we could get it vacuumed and ready for arrival. It was nice to get everything out of the van and organized. We had our showers at Planet Fitness again so that worked out well. Dan, Max, and I then vacuumed the van and then when I got back, laid everything out so people could take the snacks and items they need before throwing things out or donating any unopened food. We also stopped for Panda Express for dinner after vacuuming and was able to use a gift card my co-workers donated! It was my first time going there and it was pretty good! I also was able to bring back a diet coke for a teammate. After that, James, Casey, and I went to Barnes and Noble and then a sushi place. I was out until 9, which is so late for me on this trip, but when we got back I was able to get set up and ready for bed. I got my mini fan out last night and slept really well. AND mom, gram, and Will made it to California- so now we’re so close but I still have to wait to see them on Saturday. Today was a 7 mile day to Napa and I dedicated my miles to Jenny, a co-worker’s mom, and Tracy, someone I knew from high school. The miles were so flat today, which was really nice! I enjoyed running with Sydney and Dan. At mile 6, my ankle slipped out from under me though and it hurt so badly that my tongue hurt? Thankfully the van was right there so I just got in and let it rest with ice so I can finish the last couple of days strongly. We ran through some vineyards today which was really cool and we even got to be on a trail for some of it! For lunch, we got Ike’s sandwiches donated and I got a chicken sandwich and it was really good. After that, we found a planet fitness near our host to take showers at. Some people missed out on the nail salon yesterday, so the whole running team ended up getting our nails done. It was really fun and I got a light shade of pink manicure. After that, we walked around the little shopping center and I got some nuggets and a milkshake from an ice cream place. Then we headed back the host and I was persuaded into going back out to town for dinner – but really just to spend time with some friends because I already ate. I ended up getting some corn on the cob but was so full from earlier so it squeezed into the last bit of my stomach. I left early from dinner because I was just so tired and I got ready for bed and am now writing this before getting to sleep (Its 8:30 – crazy how tired I get on 4k). I have to post this later because the wifi doesn’t reach the room we’re in and if I’m honest, I am ready for bed! So you’ll be reading this later :) Overall it was a good day. Today was a much needed rest day in Davis, CA. It is a college town so it was fun to explore. I woke up on my own around 8am and then headed down for some free breakfast at the hotel. After that, I used the free bikes that the hotel had to ride the mile to the team and help decorate our vans. It was really fun decorating the vans and we worked on them all together to get it ready for our arrival in San Francisco. After the vans were finished, I had to take the bike back, but some riders were riding their bikes into town so I rode with them. It was a lot of fun to ride in the group with them on the roads that were built just for bikes – it was really cool and it is crazy how many places there are for you to park your bike here. They stopped for some food, but I kept riding to return the bike. When I got back to the hotel, I sat down for a second and posted a blog. Then, I met James and we walked to a bookstore to look around. I got a book! Then he went to get a hair cut and I walked around some more alone and then found a chicken place to stop for lunch. After lunch, I found some friends at the book store and went in and said hello and everyone bought a book – I thought that was pretty cool. Then a friend, Bethany, said she was going to get a pedicure so I decided to join along with 5 other girls. It was really nice and fun! Then we went for tea, but accidently walked into a Kava lounge. I guess maybe if a building says 18 + it isn’t a normal coffee place. Kava is a root that makes you feel very relaxed and apparently makes your tongue go numb. They decided to get some to try, but I just got some water! After that, we went to Chipotle and I got a cheese quesadilla. Then they wanted to get tattoos (crazy day haha) and I went along for moral support. All of their tiny tattoos turned out really well. Then, we went for some more ice cream and just happened to meet up with more people in the team when we got there. I got a vanilla cone of course. Lastly, I headed back to the hotel and typed this up and now I am so excited to get to sleep in the comfortable bed :) I didn’t take as many photos again today, but enjoy the new vans! Today was a 9 mile day and I ended up doing my last driving day! I dedicated my run to Nathan, who was someone I met at school while doing a fundraiser and he was cancer free for 10 years that day. Mary was the navigator with me and it was a good driving day. At one of the stops, we stopped at an Ace Hardware and I got a hat to hopefully wear on the last day! We drove through Sacramento and our host for the day was at a fraternity house. If you know me, that is just not my scene, so I ended up getting a hotel to sleep in a bed and also to provide a shower to the team. Once we got to the host, the runners came to the hotel to shower and then we headed back to the house to meet with everyone for dinner. Dinner was donated from a pizza place. After dinner, I got a ride back to the hotel to shower and relax. I enjoyed a mocktail and then went for wings (that actually just came out as plain chicken nuggets) and some ice cream. I slept so so well last night with the comfortable bed and pillow and am so grateful that I got the hotel! I didn’t take many pictures today, so here are some older photos that I didn’t have earlier because they were on other phones! Last night I smelled a little smoke in the air and had to check if we were okay with the wildfires. That was something I haven’t had to do before. Thankfully everything was okay and we were able to spend the night and get moving today. Today was a 10-mile day, but my hip pain has been pretty bad so I decided to just do half of the miles. It did hurt, but it was okay. I dedicated today to TJ and my grandpa. Our miles were pretty good and the first 3 miles were all downhill. It was a crazy and beautiful run. After our run, we went to two Subways to see if they would donate and unfortunately we were unsuccessful. Some people got Subway and others went to a pizza place and got some pizza donated for lunch! Then we headed back to the host and we were able to do showers and laundry. The host was a huge church and it was really nice to be able to spread out. The same pizza donated dinner for tonight and I also had a happy meal from McDonalds (not too healthy but oh well). I also tried to get caught up on posting my blogs, but unfortunately the wifi stopped working before I was able to do all of them, which is why this one is late. I had to try to post them before everyone came back from an outing they went on. Once we were all on the wifi, it just didn't work. I slept in a cold room that night and besides my hip it was pretty good. I think the sleeping pad is starting to not help the hip either, but its almost time for real beds! |
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