A lot has happened in these past months, but especially in the past few weeks for me. I realized I want to change my life plan… again. But not the actual plan, the mindset of the plan. If you know me personally or maybe even just through reading my blogs, you might have noticed that when I have a plan I stick to it and run with it. Lately my big plan has been to retire early so I can focus on this blog, dedicate my time to helping others, and hopefully start a little public speaking career. (I know, crazy goals for someone who isn’t even out of college).
Before these past few weeks that’s what I focused on. I focused on school and doing well so I could get that great job that will let me retire early. I didn’t focus as much on my blog and had the mindset that I’ll really get to focus on it later. But between what I learned in 2020, the book I read recently, the books I’m reading now, the conversations I've had with people, my quiet time, and the spark from the movie Soul, I decided to change my life plan again. This time though, it’s different. I still want to be a public speaker and maybe retire early but most importantly I want to live in every moment. One day at a time. That means:
I’ve already started to take it one day at a time and live in the moment. I’ve become more flexible (shout out to my high school friends that waited a couple weeks for my schedule to be free so we could just get dinner). I’ve let myself rest. I’ve found the balance I want and now I am working to have that balance in my life. I’ve let myself say no when I’m tired and started to invest more in the people who are around me. I’ve been doing this for less than a month and I am already less stressed, more confident in myself, feeling more well-rested, and especially happier. I’ve been reading about happiness because I want to know now how I can make life great now. Not later when there’s only half of my life left, but right now. Even if that starts with something as little as a glass of lemon water every morning. So why the movie Soul? Well that movie impacted a lot of people in different ways. For me, I watched the main character live and strive for his dream and when he finally got it, well that was it. His entire life led up to the moment that was exactly as he had dreamed and he sacrificed everything. But what about everything leading up to that dream, his relationships, his happiness? It was gone. He missed it. He lost all of that time. That was like the cherry on the pie for me after everything else I’ve learned lately. I don’t want to miss the moments too. In the last book I read it said, if you’re not happy now, you won’t be happy later. I don’t want to put off being happy for what might come, but be in the moment now, not when I retire early (or IF I retire early.) I strongly suggest the movie if you have the opportunity to watch it. It might not impact you as much, it might impact you in a different way or even more than it did for me. I knew it impacted people before I watched it, but I didn’t expect to be one of them and I was! My mindset on life is just a little different now, but it completely changes how I look at everything and how I can find my happiness again. If you’ve been having a hard time remembering how to be happy, maybe you can relate to me. My happiness changed as soon as my dreams and goals got bigger – maybe it’s just because I forgot that there is already SO much in front of me. I just needed that reminder from a whole bunch of influences and maybe you could use the reminder too :) Comment below if you saw the movie Soul and share how it impacted you! If not, watch it and come back and share!
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A new podcast is here!! We recorded this podcast before Anusha went back to school so I have been so excited to share! I talked with one of my best friends from high school who I am still so happy to call a best friend today. We talked about how Anusha reconnected with her religion in college and found more happiness from it. We found that even though we have two very different religions, we still find a lot of similar joy from both of them. Make sure to listen and see if you can relate even if you don't have a religion!
This past week I finished another of what I could call a life changing book. I may be overreacting a little bit, but honestly this book had some amazing points that I hope to remember for the rest of my life. The book “Happiness is a Choice You Make” written by John Leland is about lessons from “the oldest old.” It was a book that just made me smile and also made me think. But most importantly it made me want to change and be able to experience what they described before I was 90. I wish I could share everything with you that I loved about the book – but in my case that would be almost every page, so I suggest spending the $10 on Amazon for it. I tried to narrow down some of my favorite points, and I’ll be honest it was hard. Here are some of the main topics I found: 1. Focus on What Is Rather than What Might Be or What Was We have the opportunity to focus on what we’ve lost, what we could have, or on what we have now so why not focus on what is right in front of us? The elders in this book made their lives based on what is rather than what might be. Fred was an elder in the book and he made a great point that I really loved. “See that’s not happiness… happiness to me is what’s happening now. Not the next world; it’s not the dance you’re going to tonight. If you’re not happy at the present time, then you’re not happy. Some people say I get that new fur coat for the winter, or get myself a new automobile, I’ll be happy then. But you don’t know what’s going to happen by that time. Right now, are you happy?... Fred found fulfilment in the present, because the future might not come” (29). I loved this point because it is so true no matter what your age is. We can’t assume the future we planned or hoped for ourselves is going to come so we need to use what we have now and find happiness within that. 2. Find Ways to Thrive in Your Current Circumstances The book had so much on this, and I really connected it. One elder had to go to using a wheelchair but because of the culture we live in that constantly tells us to overcome our limitations she was scared, but if we are able to live with our limitations we can find happiness in them rather than feeling the negative feelings that comes with it (102). One of my favorite quotes shared the lesson in giving up the myth of control. “If you believe you are in control of your life, steering it in a course of your choosing, then old age is an affront, because it is a destination you didn’t choose. But if you think of life instead as an improvisation in response to the stream of events coming at you- that is, a response to the world as it is – then old age is more another chapter in a long-running story” (144). This hit me because of how much I try to control my life and I am so easily disappointed when something doesn’t go the way I thought it would. It doesn’t need to be like that. If we rescale our expectations to what the world is and find happiness in our turmoil rather than waiting for it to be fixed or fight against these expectations maybe we really can find happiness in our current circumstance even if it feels like we would rather not (145,178). John, the author, shared that we need to be happy “in spite of” not happy “if only.” We can’t get everything we hope for, but we do already have so much. If our mindset changed to I’m happy in spite of these circumstances instead of I’d be happy if only this wasn’t happening, it would allow us to focus on those small things that bring happiness. When you think of it – there will always be something that could make you unhappy if you focus on it. The same goes for happy too if you choose to focus on those things instead (114). 3. Remember the Positives of the Past When I read this quote, I was so excited because this is something I already do! I often get weird looks when people ask me to tell them about something bad that happened in the past and I honestly can’t remember so I was so excited to see that other people do this too. It really does make me happier and it looks like it helps others too. The quote is about John and Fred: “John remembered the positive emotional experiences but not the negative ones. As with Fred, he constructed reasons to be happy from the resources available to him, notwithstanding the hardships that might have crushed him” (37). Even though that second part might relate more to the point above, I still wanted to add it because I thought it was so good. 4. Remember What Really Matters There is so much in life we can focus on, but we don’t have to have our whole life centered on things that don’t bring us joy. John shared at the end that “politics matter, of course, as do money and health. But they aren’t the makings of a life well lived. At some point in your travels they’ll probably fail you. The good things in life- happiness, purpose, contentment, companionship, beauty, and love – have been there all along. We don’t need to earn them. Good food, friends, art, warmth, worth – these are things we already have. We just need to choose them as our lives” (232). Especially in today’s world it is so easy to get wrapped up in things that matter, but they aren’t what makes life worth living and bring joy. Maybe we need to take a step back and remember that. Overall, I think my favorite part of the book is that each elder had their OWN way to find happiness. There is no right way to do it because it matters based on what makes YOU happy. They really had so much to learn from and I am beyond grateful to learn their lessons when I have so much more life ahead of me and can find happiness now – because why wait to “when I retire” or “when I get that job.” Nah, happiness can start right now. Lastly, I just wanted to share something I really appreciated that the author wrote. He addresses that this does not include depression and that depression calls for professional care not just a change of attitude. Nothing in here is an alternative to treatment even though some things could be beneficial in addition to it. If you feel you have depression, please don’t be afraid to reach out. Happiness isn’t just something you can choose for everyone and if that is you, so many people want to help you and most importantly remember you are loved. Make sure to get the book (click below to take you right to Amazon) ;) If you read it please message me or comment below and tell me what you thought of the book and maybe how it changed your life too! Note: The numbers at the end of the quotes/ sentences are the pages where you can find this information in John Leland’s book: "Happiness is a Choice You Make."
It’s fun to think that the package you got just magically landed on your doorstep or the letter you sent to your friend just appeared in their mailbox, but the reality is it doesn’t work that way. Our delivery drivers are working crazy hours with a crazy amount of packages to get you that package that you track every single day. They often don’t get appreciated that much either. If I’m honest, I usually remember to put something in the mailbox every once in awhile to thank our mailman, Eric (I know this because he is always so kind to write back a thank you note) but I usually forget about Amazon, FedEx, UPS, and even grocery deliveries too. Although, they are working just as hard!
We don’t usually get as many packages from the other services, but we see them circle around our little neighborhood at least once a day. I’m not sure if they’re the same people each time, but I know they all deserve to be appreciated. Your thought might be how do you give something to a delivery driver when they could go to either your door or the garage. Plus you don’t even know when they’ll come (or in my case if they’ll come). That is my thought exactly! So, after thinking about some ideas I thought of making envelopes that you can tape to the door that say, “AMAZON DRIVER, THIS IS FOR YOU!” or whatever you prefer. There’s a small chance they’ll see it and take it! Usually people do things like this for the holidays but my favorite part about this service project is that the holidays are over! Which means it’s probably even a little more meaningful to get something from someone else. A little surprise :) There’s a lot of things you could put in this envelope, maybe a $5-$10 gift card to Wawa (That’s what I did!) or a $20 bill or a kind note with a DIY project that your kid made (or you if you’re a kid at heart!) and of course a small note to let them know you do really appreciate what they’re doing. Words that say “I appreciate you” go so far. Don’t just think it, say it out loud and let someone smile! If you don’t get packages, maybe you get to go food delivered and tip a little extra or maybe when you’re at the grocery store you simply say to the cashier that you appreciate them and what they’re doing during this time. YES you can do this in a way without having to spend money and it still goes the same length of showing your gratitude!! I’m so excited to see if they notice my envelopes and show some appreciation. There are so many people that get in their cars and deliver something for someone – who does it for you and what can you do for them? If you do anything, your challenge is to let someone (delivery driver, cashier, mail carrier, etc) know that you really appreciate them. Think about where you would be without them! Comment below who you appreciate! After taking some time to reflect on this past year I thought of 20 things I learned in 2020 but I also reflected on how I could take them into 2021. This is one of my longer blog posts but I wrote it in a way that you can skim it easily if you want! Feel free to just read the 20 things and if something interests you, read more under it. I hope you'll be able to take some of this into 2021 too. Happy New Year! 1. It’s okay to actually rest → don’t feel bad when you need to take a day for yourselfBefore this year, the idea of taking a day for myself and not doing anything seemed absolutely crazy and if I did it, I even felt guilty that I should have done something else. Now I learned that it really is okay and it actually helps and makes it easier to start again the next day. 2. rest → make sure you actually do take days for yourselfAfter seeing that it is actually okay to rest, I learned how important it really is. Going days on days without ever resting just sets you up for a crash (which I have had many of). Resting lets you keep going for longer and I’ve found it even makes me happier. Going into 2021, I hope to make Sundays my rest day where I take the time to be with Jesus and focus on resting for the week ahead. 3. Really prioritize what makes you happy → if it doesn’t make you happy consider if you really need it or need to do itAfter having some time to quarantine and not having a lot of things to do, I've thought why am I doing things that don’t make me or others happy (or is working towards completing a goal). I found I was doing things because that’s what we were “supposed” to do or because other people “expected” me to do it, but that doesn't have to be the case. If we step back and look at our schedule we should consider how important the activity really is in our lives. If it not moving towards a goal or doing something for others maybe we should take it out and put something in that will bring us joy. 4. Seeing a friend in person is the greatest privilege → don’t worry about checking your phone when you’re with a friend, be thereAfter experiencing the pandemic where you literally could not get together with friends, I saw how much of a privilege it was to go to a friend’s house or meet at a local restaurant. Once we’re able to safely meet and do this again, I hope to remember this and be able to be with my friend (not checking my phone or getting distracted because we’ve done enough of that during the pandemic) but to really be present. 5. You don’t have to give 100% 24/7 → choose what is worth itSome things aren’t worth giving 100%. It's especially not important to give 100% to everything. In fact it probably isn’t possible and you could burn out, but by prioritizing what is important, you can give 110% to what is important and 80% to something else and it is just as good. You can be happier this way too. If it’s not as important there is no need to stress about it. 6. Rely on Jesus because He’s got you → don’t forget He is always thereIf you’re a Christian, I’m sure you can relate to this one, but it can definitely be hard to remember at times. Multiple times this year, I turned on my Spotify playlist and the Christian music just brought me peace. When I needed Him the most, I hit shuffle on the top Christian songs and got a song that I had never heard before but it was exactly what I needed in that moment and through the rest of the week. It’s so easy to turn away when things get hard, but turning to Jesus in prayer or in worship just makes things so much better. 7. Live in the moment → take everything one step at a time and enjoy itBy living in the moment it is unlikely that you’ll miss something. Putting your phone away (yes for pictures and videos too), and listening and acknowledging your movement brings so much more meaning into the moment and makes life just a bit better. I’ve found that it adds more happiness too. 8. There are ways to control stress → take a step back and take care of yourself One of my favorite realizations this year was that you can (sometimes) get to the breaking point before the real stress gets to you. Taking moments for yourself with rest, yoga, meditation, time with friends, etc. can help you breathe and get ready to move forward in life and be your best. 9. It’s okay to not text back right away → you don’t have to be connected to your phone 24/7People will understand if you reply in a few hours or in a day and not right at that moment. You don’t need to feel bad about it either. After experiencing a time where I struggled to text back this semester, I felt so bad and felt that people would be angry even though I physically struggled to pick up my phone. People understood though and I didn’t have to explain myself. It’s okay to reply later that day. 10. Keep the friends who see you ugly cry and are still there for you even after it → be that person for those friends too and listen wellSomeone gave me this piece of advice later in the year and it was at the right time. After having a large bump in the road in November and doing exactly this, I felt so grateful to have these friends. I was thinking how I could take this with me into 2021 - the way you are a good friend to others is to be there for them in that way and to really listen when they need you. 11. I have privilege → use this to help those who don’t and help make the world a better placeAs a white person in America, I have privilege. I knew this before, but I learned so much more this year. I hope a lot of people can connect to this one too. I also have the opportunity to fight for those who can’t and with a new year it is important to remember to not forget and to keep pushing for a country that is equal. 12. Don’t take family for granted and give them phone calls → a 10 minute phone call is only 10 minutes but it makes their day and yoursFamily is so great and another thing to be thankful for. Don’t take them for granted and if you’re thinking of giving them a call, do it! Don’t wait. 10 minutes really isn’t that much of your day and it is impactful for both you and them. 13. Just 5 minutes of yoga and/or meditation can be life changing → do it!Even if you only have a few minutes, doing just a little bit of yoga and mediation every day changes things (slowly). After doing yoga for a year, I’ve found my body looking forward to it and I’m even more flexible. After meditation for just two weeks, I’ve been able to wake up on time, run without being so nervous, and go to sleep just a little bit faster. Taking a few moments for yourself changes not only how your body feels, but also how your mind reacts to everyday life. 14. I have a really great support system of friends and family → show gratitude as much as you canAfter seeing people I love and people I have never met come along side and support me through my Ulman goal of raising $10,000 or people who were there when I struggled the most this year, I easily saw how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system. Even just by you reading this right now, I feel blessed for you. I am so grateful, but I hope to show more gratitude to those I love this upcoming year. 15. It’s okay to move life around and not live on a schedule at every second → I still need schedules, but it’s okay to change themBefore quarantine, I lived off of a schedule that I made every night before bed by the minute. I was good at moving some things around, but often felt bad if I didn’t do it all. I found I still do need schedules to get things done, but if they need to change even by an entire day that is totally okay because it will get done. Even when big plans change (like not being able to physically run across the country), it’s okay and new things can happen instead! 16. The world can be very selfish – More reasons why the little things matter → Be that person who will smile or hold the doorAfter seeing the major selfishness that comes in the world, it made it more evident of how important it is to help others and give others little reasons to smile. You don’t know how other people are feeling, so why not do something that will make their day. You and I can be that person to make the world just a little bit better. 17. If you work really hard towards your fitness goals – you’ll get close → keep expectations low but reach for high goals – keep goals and push to be your best but always be proudThis one may be more personal because every body type is different but after this summer and training and running at my hardest ever, I learned getting abs and that “perfect” body type is HARD, but I also learned to really appreciate my body and see it did change and it is strong. Most importantly I learned to always be proud. Just getting out there is an accomplishment – especially after the days I’ve had where it felt impossible to get off the couch, but I did it. There is no room to be disappointed there. Small steps towards a goal and staying active is a reason to be proud. 17. You don’t have to eat gross healthy food every single day → watch what you eat, but eat some chicken nuggets every once in awhileThis is another one that could be more personal because everyone is different, but after trying some diets and trying to eat healthy all the time, I learned that for me, personally at least, I don’t have to eat what I don’t like. I still need to watch what I eat and choose healthy options but if I have a cheat day with chicken nuggets – there is no reason to feel bad. I always like to say I run so I can eat (which is only partly true) but after training and running this summer, I learned it is okay to have those cheat day and enjoy what you’re eating. 19. You don’t have to run fast to be good → appreciate you can move and don’t focus on the timeAfter lots and lots of running this year, I have had lots of time to reflect. I’ve found that running slow and running long is my favorite. There is this idea in society that you have to run fast to be good – but I don’t think that’s true! Success comes from just getting outside and doing something that makes you proud. 20. I’m a cat person → so I’ll give griz more snugglesThis one is more of a fun one but the question is always asked - are you a cat person or a dog person and after lots of thought I’d have to say cat person (because of my cat Grizwald). Griz got me through 2020. I still do love dogs though a lot but I’ve found that cats might be just a little bit better :)
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