I am so so excited to share with you that the podcast is finally here AND it is up on Spotify!! (So make sure to give it a follow!!) If you don't have a Spotify account, no worries! Below you'll see you can listen to the podcast right from the blog, or you can click PODCAST at the top. The link at the top will bring you to the podcast homepage where you can see all the episodes, have a link to access Spotify and subscribe as well. The podcast shares a little bit about what to expect, so be sure to check out the super short intro to see why you should get excited for next month! I can't wait to start some happiness conversations and share them with you!!
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Before you read the title and think "oh, I don’t need to hear about a book" – WAIT – this book honestly changed my life and had me saying “woah” out loud to an empty room! I strongly suggest reading this book, but if you do not get a chance, take a look at a few of the many points that I really loved that show "How Happiness Happens" through the eyes of Max Lucado. You Have to Go Through the Back Door. Usually when people search for happiness, they look through the front door – or the one that happens when you get something. You get items, you get likes, you get compliments (which is nice for the short term) but true happiness comes when you go through the back door – or the one that happens when you give.(1) It’s often forgotten that we can give happiness away through simple things such as holding a door, thanking a cashier, or sending someone flowers. The front door is the one we aim for because it is often described by the advertising companies but it always fails to deliver what we’re looking for.(2) We can receive happiness when we GIVE, rather than when we GET. Get Rid of Those Pet Peeves This one really hit home for me. I’ll be honest, I have quite a few pet peeves. But why on earth do I care to let something that doesn’t matter bother me? Part of me thinks it’s because society expects us to… I can probably bet that at least once in your life you’ve been asked “What’s your greatest pet peeve?” Max tells it perfectly by saying “every pet peeve writes a check on our joy account.”(3) When something that usually doesn’t have much to do with us happens, we get mad and it can make us angry for a good amount of the day afterwards. Is it even worth it? Definitely not and we can get back some of our happiness. Serve Those Around You Serving is my absolute favorite thing to do, so I was not surprised to find this chapter in the book. It also connects perfectly to the first point that you have to go through the back door. Max wrote something that stuck with me because of how true it was, but also because it was something I wanted to share with you: “the easiest way to make yourself smile is to make someone else smile first.”(4) I loved how he put it. He added later that if you try and make your happiness based on how others serve you, you will always be disappointed, but when you flip that idea around, you can find the happiness you’ve been searching for.(5) Love Everyone. This was my favorite part of the book and might have been the best thing I have ever read especially in the times we are in now with constant arguments and hate throughout America. With the Bible at the focus of this book, this section stood out to me more with how Christians are to act towards all others. Even if not a Christian, the advice is strong and will 100% bring you happiness to love others. He pointed out here that agape (the Greek translation for love) means “unselfish affection.” He pointed out that “God loves a diverse creation” because that is how He created it.(6) He goes on to share that we are God’s workmanship or in Greek, his poetry. Together we are His poetry, not each one of us alone. After this led to my new favorite quote: “What letter, then, has a right to criticize another? Dare the p accuse the q of being backward? Dare the m mock the w for being too open minded? Who are we to tell the writer how to form us or when to use us? We need each other. By ourselves we are just letters on a page, but collectively we are poetry.”(7) So can we just stop for a minute and say woah?? This is so true for everyone whether Christian or not. I have been feeling the tug of the hate that has been occurring all around me. I have seen it from so many people that I know and don’t know, but where it hurts the most is from those who call themselves Christians, those who say they are followers of Jesus. This is just a small token of what it describes in the Bible of how to love others. Jesus showed us perfectly that no matter who the other person is we are to love – not to judge, not to hate, not to fix – that is God’s job, we are just the letters on the page. This was exactly what I needed to read to see that love means unselfish and it is for everyone. I would encourage you to think about these last two paragraphs – are you loving everyone? Or are you judging them, trying to change them, or hating them? All for what – to benefit the needs of yourself so you can just say you won an argument or you hurt them? As a Christian you are called to follow Jesus’ example. As someone who isn’t a Christian, I would just encourage you to love others because that is how you would like to be approached too. So, especially right now when people don’t agree with your strong political views or anything else really – are you loving them? Are you at least not attacking them and remembering the example that was set for us by Jesus Himself as He walked on this earth? This book was life changing – especially during a pandemic. The whole thing hit me, but especially the part of love. I’ve been saying it over and over but to read about it like this was more than encouraging. How Happiness Happens by Max Lucado brings so many examples about how we can find joy and how we can share it with others, and I hope it encourages you as much as it did for me. Notes:
Lucado, Max. How Happiness Happens. Thomas Nelson, 2019. (1/2- pg. 7; 3- pg. 32; 4- pg. 97; 5- pg. 98; 6/7- pg. 156) Before the pandemic, it was super easy to make someone happy, even just for a second, – a simple smile. For the time being, this easy way to connect and make others happy has been covered with a mask to protect those around you.
So, then the question is how are we supposed to serve others or you might even be thinking why do I have to serve others? It’s hard enough right now. I’ll start out answering the second question… why should you serve others or make others happy? The easiest answer is that making others happy makes you happy. To improve your happiness level, you can actually help others improve theirs (how cool is that?!) but also another reason to serve others and make others happy is really just why not? Why not hold the door open or send an appreciation text? It normally takes a few seconds of your day but can impact the other person for the entire day or maybe even the week! Back to my first question… how to do this when we have to social distance and wear masks? I want to focus on the how moving forward in my blogs at least once a month because it is so so important to make it part of our daily lives to lift others up. Today though, I want to share something small for you, but big for the person who receives it. It also isn’t for a stranger or someone you just pass in the hallway every once in a while, it’s for someone who is close (because sometimes those are the people we often forget to serve most when we see them so often). Usually this idea goes on the to do list and it never gets done (I know that from experience) but think about how great the other person (and you) would feel. All it takes is a pen and paper and maybe a stamp. Have you guessed what it is yet?? A letter! Now you’re probably thinking yeah sure that’s a great idea but when do I have time for that. You might have time first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed at night instead of scrolling through social media? But before you answer that question check your screen time on your phone and then get back to me with that one! Really though, writing letters can be so impactful and meaningful especially for those who are closest to you. Just acknowledging the little things and thanking them for what they have done in your life is huge. It is usually a guaranteed smile and if you’re lucky you might even get the opportunity to receive a letter back! Your letter can be long, but it can also be a short “I appreciate you” on a sticky note. Anything is going to be meaningful because it is from you. It is the perfect way for you to be able to make someone smile in these challenging times with social isolation. The most important thing to remember to help you get motivated to start writing is how would you feel if you received a letter and how would that impact your day (and maybe even your relationship with that person.) That's your challenge for the month (that means you have lots of days to write something small for someone you love.) It’s the little things in life that get us all through it! :) We are currently living in an unprecedented time where we don’t have any past examples. Sure there have been pandemics in the past, but we’re not only experiencing this pandemic… we’re experiencing it in a time of major social media influence, with some of the highest mental health statistics in years, during a huge social movement, and of course during a presidential election (and a big one at that).
So how on earth are we supposed to stay calm and act “normal”? Everyone is having a hard time in this pandemic. I’m sure everyone could agree with me on that. However, some people have it harder than others. Thankfully it is getting a little better and we have technology, but we (or at least I can say from experience) are still feeling something. I can’t describe it – I’m sad a good amount of the time, but why? I don’t know. Nothing is normal so I can’t fix it. I’m just stuck here watching the news, seeing my friends on social media, and trying to stay afloat with all my classes and Zoom. I know for sure that I am not feeling the worst of it and I still thankfully have some good days. The way I feel makes me want to reach out to others more. Still, it is important to know that every feeling is valid whether it is “worse” or not because we are all different. You don’t need to constantly compare yourself to others, especially when it comes to your mental health. If you are sad – then that is okay – acknowledge the sadness and talk to someone if you can. Don’t take “well everyone feels like that” or “it could be worse” as an excuse for yourself. YOU ARE IMPORTANT and how you feel matters too. Think about it as going in the water at the ocean. If you go underwater you can hold your breath and see things for a little bit, but eventually you’ll need to come up for air. That is just like the mental health we are feeling today. We don’t often understand how or why we are feeling this way so if our bodies want to just sit for a little bit and think about what’s happening: Let them, cry if you need to but always come up for air. Social media is like the fish in the water. They might nibble on your toes or act as if they’re going to bite you, but they won’t because they don’t have that power over you – you can kick them off and look the other way. If you’re feeling these things and not coming up for air, maybe try talking to someone to get help. That’s why we have lifeguards because we can’t always save ourselves. We need help and that’s okay. If a lifeguard were to save you in the ocean it probably wouldn’t be that embarrassing because you would be so thankful to be alive. In that same way, we can ask for help. Maybe then one day you can become a lifeguard too. After saying this, I want to point out that we aren’t sea creatures. We aren’t meant to stay under the water for a long time or constantly get back in. Think about the amount of time you’re in the water versus being on land (unless you really love swimming or you’re a swimmer). You’re really not in the water that much. In the same way, we can’t constantly be in our sadness. But sometimes (especially now), it’s okay to go under the water – just for a little bit of course – but to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. Your feelings are valid. My feelings are valid. Your friends’ feelings are valid. Everyone has their own experience when they go underwater, and some may act differently but that doesn’t mean that your way isn’t good and that you can’t feel that. During this pandemic, I’m sure you have at least dipped your toes in the water. It’s not easy and that’s totally understandable. But if you need to go under the water (in the way that you need to feel what you’re feeling for a little bit and let go of what you’ve been trying to hide) that is okay. But remember you can’t breathe underwater. You do need to come up but if you can’t do it alone, people want to help you. Even a stranger that sends a smile your way could be the person who throws you the ring before the lifeguard comes. It takes a small step, but you have the power (maybe with some help) to overcome it and be strong again. |
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August 2022
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